May 22, 2013 · 8:55 am

I Gotta Get This Off My Chest To Let It Go.

Day 22: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. (a pet peeve, a current event, a controversial topic, something your husband or roommate or neighbor or boss does that really ticks you off)

Social media has become a huge part of today’s world. I’ll admit – I’m a bit of a social media snob; I have accounts on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest – the list goes on and on. I’ll also admit that on occasion, I do check in to places on Facebook, I do post pictures of my food (how could you not post pictures of the most beautiful plate of sushi you’ve ever had?) on Instagram, I do occasionally post a selfie. However, what really grinds my gears is how some people utilize social media and what these people typically post on these social networks.

The constant hashtags on Instagram grinds my gears. I can understand one or two hashtags, but when you post a picture of, for the sake of the aforementioned, your plate of sushi and your caption is #sushi #night #with #my #girls #yum #spicy #salmon #roll #so #good #ugh #laughs #memories #lets #do #it #again. What purpose does that serve you? People use hashtags so that their photos can be found when trending topics are searched. Please, enlighten me. Who searches for words like #with or #roll or #so or #ugh?

The need to post 2903523095 pictures at the gym, statuses or tweets about working out is another one of my biggest pet peeves. How hard are you working out if you are updating your entire social media feed that you are working out? Now, I understand the need for some sort of validation or even motivation from others. It’s a psychological need and I get that. But I’m not too sure I care enough that you are at the gym. It’s typically the people that post about being at the gym that are the ones I don’t see any significant changes in their body. Not sorry. (I mean, today’s topic did tell me to rant, right?)

Political opinions. Just. Say. No. I understand that everything in this world is not black and white. We can’t all agree on the same political stance, or politician. But politics leads to deadly, torturous conversation. I find that the people who start political debates on social networks are usually those who don’t know a thing about politics, or only know what their parents taught them. For the record, I was raised in an extremely conservative household and had it engraved into my mind that that was correct – that there was no other way of thinking. I grew up and formed my own political opinion – one opposite of my family – but it was my decision based on my knowledge. There are a ton of young people out there that I’ve seen look like a complete ass because they don’t know what they’re talking about. This is why straying from political conversation is always a good idea.

And last but not least, the use of social media for pity, to put others down or to make ourselves look good. We’re all guilty of wanting pity from time to time. Occasionally, if you are having a crappy day, you want nothing more than for people to agree with you and make it better. It’s human nature to occasionally feel this way. But there are those people who take to Twitter to talk about their long work hours, how they go to school full time and work full time, how they can “never see their friends” cause they’re always too busy “grinding” (terms I’ve seen on my Twitter feed). These are also the same people who post for all of social media to see that they’re “so busy.” Riddle me this: you’re so insanely busy, working so much, yet you have time to Tweet your every move at work? Your job must be so hard. So many people I know post about what they’re juggling in life – sure, you look awesome if you go to school and work full time and can handle it all – but how many people are already doing that?

I’m all for the use of social networks – for light-hearted fun, not for the above annoyances. Rant over.



xo, Jackie

The title of this post is from the song, “Warrior” by Demi Lovato.
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May 21, 2013 · 7:45 am

These Are My Confessions.

Day 21: A list of links to your favorite posts in your archives

In descending chronological order -

Going to the chapel and we’re gonna get married: This post was dedicated to my best friend and her beautiful wedding day. You can check out part of my Maid Of Honor speech there too.

Remember, remember, December: A little piece I wrote awhile back about love that fades into nothingness.

Life is for the living: About meeting Bethany Joy Lenz aka Haley from One Tree Hill.

Gotta Live Like We’re Dying: How existentialism has changed my life and offered me new insight.

You talk about your past like your future was me: Paying homage to old flames and my favorite Taylor Swift song.

Wish I knew then what I know now: An ode to all teenagers.

Stop and stare, you start to wonder why you’re here not there: Thoughts about feeling stuck.

Some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned: 24 things I’ve learned in 24 years.

That’s my prerogative: In defense of working in retail.

Life is Amazing with you on the ride: The importance of having girlfriends.



“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” -Ernest Hemingway

xo, Jackie

The title of this post is from the song, “Confessions Part II” by Usher.
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May 20, 2013 · 8:00 am

But The Struggles Make You Stronger.

Day 20: Get real. Share something you’re struggling with right now.

I find myself grappling with different “struggles” daily, but more recently, and even more so yesterday, I’ve been struggling with feeling stuck. There are times, for lack of a less morbid phrase, I feel stuck inside of this proverbial jail cell. I’ve simply outgrown the house that I was raised in and find that it’s no longer a home – perhaps for me, it never was. For the most part, I fit the mold that Alfred Adler set in his overview of birth order for the eldest child. I’m a high achiever with the constant hunger to please people – and perhaps that is my greatest downfall. I struggle because, as badly as I want to please my parents, it seems as though it’s never enough. Everything I’ve ever done – every achievement, award, accolade – has always been for them. For them to be proud of me, for them to accept me, for them to acknowledge that I’m good enough. And yet, they never fail to make me feel like I’ve fallen short of that. I promise it’s not as morbid as it sounds; I’m resilient. I’m strong. I know I’m smart and have a good head on my shoulders and have already achieved so much. And thank God for that.

But I fear that one day down the road, I will look back and hate myself for doing everything for my parents – mainly my dad – and not for myself. Where’s the glory in aiming to reach all these goals for everyone else, only to feel stuck in the end? What’s the point in doing everything to impress everyone but myself? If a client were to come to me with this problem, I would say to make sure you take care of yourself first – that at the end of the day, you only have to please yourself. If you are happy with where you are, happy with your decisions, and happy with the path you’ve chosen, you’re on your way. If it’s good enough for you, it should be good enough for everyone else. Unfortunately, I internalize so much of what I’m told and my parents’ extreme parenting style has manifested itself into my every day life. I can only hope to one day soon pull myself from underneath the rubble of their authoritarian parenting without a war of words.

And, this feeling of being stuck is more than just an emotional state – it’s a physical state as well. I feel stuck walking eggshells in a house that is not my own, but even more stuck that I’ve had it fixated in my mind that it’s the norm to move out of your parents’ house right after college. Things are different now than they were when I was younger and projected my own fate, but it doesn’t stop the ache I have that yearns for a place to call my own – a place where no familial conflict lives. I know what’s wise – stay living with my parents until I graduate from grad school and get my life and career in order, but in order for me to keep peace of mind and not need more therapy than is required for my graduate program, I need to move out. Strong emphasis on the need. It’s a lose-lose situation – a double edged sword, and I’m not quite sure which end is sharper and more painful.

I struggle daily with being two different people. The person I really am (with my friends, etc) versus the person I feel I am when I’m at home. I know it’s mainly cultural, but I also know that at some point, your parents are supposed to see you for who you are – an adult, their child, but not a child. Perhaps my problem is also with differentiation. I’m growing and changing and evolving right before their eyes, and I’ve changed my morals and my belief system. I’m differentiating from them, and that’s not something they, or any parent, are used to. For years, I’ve struggled to find a place where I can fit comfortably in the middle, but solace escapes me in this household.

Instead, it’s a daily struggle of whether or not I will do something that will piss my dad off, or whether he will do something to tip off my short temper. It’s a battle of personalities. It’s a constant mental fight – do this, and make myself happy, or do that, and fall short of pleasing my parents. It’s the financial struggle of how can I afford to move out, and when can I afford to move out. It’s a balancing act – one that I thought I wouldn’t have to balance anymore. At 13, I told myself to keep hanging on because I was close to turning 17 and earning more freedom with my drivers license. When I was 17, I hung on because I was so close to going away to college and potentially never having to come back. When I was 22 and graduating college, I told myself to keep saving up – that I’d be out of here in no time. Now, at nearly 25, I struggle with deciding what’s the next best step.

One day, I’ll have it all figured out.


“All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the springs of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.” -Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

xo, Jackie

The title of this post is from the song, “Life Ain’t Always Beautiful” by Gary Allan
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May 19, 2013 · 8:03 am

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things.

Day 19: Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them

Slightly Twisted Jane: I talked about Jane last week, but I want to bring her back into this post as well. Last week, I talked about how close Jane and I have gotten over the years and how I absolutely adore her. But more than just how much I adore Jane, I also love her blog. She chronicles her daily life as she takes on college and the road to becoming an accountant, and everything in between. My favorite thing about her blog is her headline: ad astra per aspera – a Latin phrase that means “through hardships to the stars” or “a rough road leads to the stars.” What could be more inspirational? I just adore her. She’s also doing the Blog Every Day in May challenge, so you should definitely go check her blog out!

Analyfe: I can’t even begin to describe how much I adore Erin’s blog. I’m not sure how I stumbled upon her blog awhile back, but I am so so so so SO glad I did (in case you didn’t get it – huge emphasis on the SO). She and I are quite similar – we both studied psychology, graduated a couple of years ago, and are on a quest to figure out what our next move is. She is a phenomenal writer – and phenomenal isn’t even a strong enough word to describe her talent. I can relate so easily to what she talks about; I find myself nodding in agreement to every single one of her posts, and then wishing I could write as beautifully as she does. In a “blogosphere” that is so full of people writing about their love lives, their marriage, their pets and their children (don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that whatsoever), it’s so refreshing to find someone that is just writing and even more refreshing that I can understand where she’s coming from. But more than just her blog, Erin is also so nice. With so many followers, one would think it would be hard to keep up and respond to readers, but Erin has, on different occasions, reached out in response to something I’ve written her and reached out in response to some of my posts. So not only is she incredibly talented, she’s also just so nice and approachable, making her and her blog one of my favorites.

Kristie Was Here: Kristie is another incredibly, incredibly talented writer. Her writing abilities speak volumes and her “story” is a must read – but definitely not for the faint of heart.

Life Of Bon: Bonnie over at Life Of Bon is SO FREAKIN’ HILARIOUS. Just go to her blog and see for yourself!!

Story Of My Life: It wouldn’t be a list of favorite blogs without adding Jenni to the mix. Jenni, who started this “Blog Every Day In May” challenge. Jenni is quite possibly one of the nicest bloggers I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know when I sponsored her blog for a few months last year. She, too, is insanely talented in the writing department – but not only that, she definitely has this blogging thing down to a science. Her blog is engaging – it always has something different and new every day and it is through her blog that I’ve found so many other amazing blogs. AND she has a KILLER love story. Check it out because I just love love so much and her love story definitely exemplifies love in a big way :’)



xo, Jackie

The title of this post is from the song, “My Favorite Things” by Julie Andrews.
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May 18, 2013 · 8:00 am

Memories Are Following Me Like A Shadow Now.

Day 18: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.

When I was 7 years old, my childhood best friend Danielle and I decided it was time for us to go out into the real world and earn our own wages instead of relying on petty chores to make money. But we didn’t want to do it the traditional way. Lemonade stands were for the less inventive; we wanted to be innovative, visionary, creative. So, we decided to have a hair cutting stand. Yes, you read correctly: hair cutting stand. Two elementary school-aged girls, cutting hair. Let that sink in for just a moment.

Before we could get our business rolling, Danielle and I decided it was absolutely imperative to practice. You can’t be a professional hair dresser without the proper training, right? So, we practiced on my dolls – cutting off strands of their hair thinking that it was perfect. When we ran out of my dolls, I opted to cut my younger brother’s tickle me Elmo doll. When that didn’t suffice, I decided it was time to cut Danielle’s hair – mind you, Danielle had beautiful, long, thick hair… and I cut off a good chunk of hair and put it in a ziplock bag. (I’m still not sure why I saved it). Without thinking, Danielle and I walked into my living room – me, holding the bag of her hair, while our moms were talking.

Needless to say, the little ziplock bag of hair was rather suspicious, and we were immediately in trouble.

I was grounded for a month. An entire month. At only 7 years old. I still think it was rather preposterous considering how innovative we were… don’t you agree?

n1339740109_30022838_7986This will forever be my favorite picture of us. This was taken a few years before the hair cutting incident.



“No one understands you like those you shared a childhood with. No one sees you in quite the same way.”xo, Jackie

The title of this post is from the song, “Wish You Were Here” by Kate Voegele
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May 17, 2013 · 8:00 am

Pictures Of You, Pictures Of Me.

Day 17: A favorite photo of yourself and why

I don’t have a particular photo of myself that I would say is my favorite. Instead, I have a ton of photos that all remind me of different things. Pictures always take me back to a different time, a different memory, a different person than I am today. I love pictures in general, but as I was going through old pictures of myself on Facebook in search of my “favorite photo” of myself, I came across this one below. If I were one to embarrass easily, this would be the picture to do just that, but I am not easily embarrassed. When I look at this picture, I am immediately brought back to that time in my life. I was quite possibly the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Ever. It was the summer after my freshman year of college – I was 19 years old and without going into much detail, I was happy. I remember every detail of this night so well. But when it comes down to it, I chose this picture to portray my “favorite” photo of myself because it brings me back to a time when I genuinely felt happy – when I didn’t feel the pressures of adult life. When all I did was live and love – and that’s easy to see in this picture with me singing and dancing.. and just living. I think that’s my favorite thing about pictures – no matter what’s changed since the memory, you can instantly be brought back to that moment in time.

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“Taking pictures is savoring life intensely, every hundredth of a second.” -Marc Riboud

xo, Jackie

The title of this post is from the song, “Pictures of You” by The Last Goodnight
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May 16, 2013 · 8:00 am

The Quicksands Pulling Me Down.

Day 16: Something difficult about your “lot in life” and how you’re working to overcome it.

Today’s topic hits close to home, as I find myself struggling every day with differentiating and finding a place in which I fit. I am at a strange point in my life; I’ve yet to begin life on my own, but I am no longer relying on everyone else to validate me. I still live at home, but I am no longer a naive teenager floundering in a sea of rebellion. I am stuck somewhere in limbo. I am a young adult, a college graduate, a graduate student. I have a plethora of incredible people and things in my life and for the most part, I’m content with where I’m headed. But some days, I can physically feel the weight of the quicksand pulling from underneath me. And on these days, I truly feel stuck.

If you would have asked me on the day of my high school graduation where I saw myself at nearly 25, I would’ve given you my laundry list of goals that I swore I’d have accomplished by now. But life never works out exactly the way you want it to and I am left to sort through the residue of my actions – or my inaction. I look to the people around me – the people I grew up with – the people who seemed to find success so much faster than I did, and I can’t help but feel pangs of jealousy. Where did I go wrong? What wrong turn did I take? Is it too late to turn it all around? How did they get so lucky?

The thing is, I have already accomplished so much. I graduated college. I made it into graduate school and through my first year. I balance two jobs. I’m working towards something every single day, and although it may not be the path that everyone else is taking, it’s the path I find necessary to get me towards my future, which I can only hope will be nothing short of incredible.

But then, there are day when the quicksand is so incredibly demanding – days where I feel as though it could swallow me whole.

On these days, I find that I have two problems – one with expectations and one with comparison. When you’re a kid, you have a vision of what life should be like. You have a vision of what success is, of what happiness is. You don’t grow up thinking it’s the norm to live at home with your parents and to hate yourself for it on most days. You don’t grow up thinking it’d be this hard finding a job in your field of study. You don’t grow up thinking you’d ever question your choice in career paths. You don’t grow up thinking that you’d watch all your friends find happiness in their careers, in love and in their lives. You don’t grow up thinking everyone else would have everything you want. Expectations far exceed what reality is.

When it comes to comparison, I am the queen at being hard on myself because I always compare myself to others. My best friend recently told me to stop allowing the successes of others stray from my own definition of success and my own goals. I often find  myself green with envy when I see so many people around me settling into their young adult life comfortably.  While most of the people I know didn’t need graduate school (or college at all) to start their careers, I do. Unless I have, at minimum, a Master’s and a license, I will not find a career in my field of study. Unlike most of my friends with undergrad degrees, my Bachelor’s means nothing without a Master’s, license and the “LPC, SAC” after my name. What’s most disheartening is that after this long road, I will most likely be making less money than a lot of my friends right now – and I know it doesn’t do to dwell on comparison, nor does it do to concern myself with money. You shouldn’t do things for money – you should do things because you’re passionate about it. But no one works this hard to make less money in a year than their entire graduate education costs.

And that’s just my schooling. I have other dreams I want to accomplish – goals I need to cross of my bucket list. Like I said, I had a vision of what my life would be, and it’s nowhere near where I thought it would be. But I’m working at it, and I suppose that’s all anyone could ever ask for.

Overcoming all of the aforementioned is a daily task. Mentally, I feel like I’m at a standstill, but physically, the standstill is still living at home with my parents. I’ve been working tirelessly at saving as much as I can to move out by the end of this year. Some days, I feel like this goal can really be achieved by years end, and other days, I feel as though I’ll never be able to leave. I’m taking control of other parts of my life as well – learning to implement clean eating and working out back into my life for my own well-being. I joined this Blog Every Day In May challenge as a means to get back into writing and blogging more frequently. I’m constantly applying to jobs and looking for my next step. So, while I’m not where I initially imagined my life would be at this age, I am on the road to my personal definition of success, and working every day at not comparing myself to others. We’re all on our own road, with different destinations, and at the end of the day, the journey is what really matters, right?



“You start out life with a clean slate. Then you begin to make your mark. You face decisions, make choices. You keep moving forward. But sooner or later there comes a time where you look back over where you have been and wonder who you really are.” -The Wonder Years

xo, Jackie

The title of this post is from the song, “Quicksand” by Bethany Joy Lenz.
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May 15, 2013 · 8:00 am

A Day In The Life.

Day 15, Wednesday: A Day in the life (include photos from throughout your typical day – this could be “a photo an hour” if you’d like)

I wasn’t quite sure how I could do this day, being that I worked all day yesterday – at both of my jobs – and taking pictures there wouldn’t be appropriate. So, I took a few snapshots of some of the typical things about my day. Enjoy :)

A typical day for me:
Wake up between 6-7:30
Have my morning tea or coffee.
Read a little.
Go to work or school, depending on the day.
Hang out with my best friend (not every day, but most days).
Go home to do homework.
Read a little before bed.
Repeat.

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If I wake up early enough and get some down time before going to work, I’m glued to my Kindle.

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I’ve been really into green smoothies lately; about a month and a half ago, I was on a serious health kick and was doing so so so well with it. I fell off, but I’m trying to get back on. Slowly, but surely. This is a kale – mango – pineapple – strawberry – banana smoothie with almond milk and chia seeds. Delicious and all natural with no sweeteners.

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Health kick or not, Dunkin Donuts is a staple in my life. I always get it on my way from one job to the other. I often wonder how much money I would save if I didn’t find Dunkin coffee to be a necessity.

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I guess this completely negates my statement staying I am trying to get back into the habit of healthy eating. Chipotle is also another staple in my diet. I didn’t need all the extras, but I treated myself to it as an end-of-semester splurge.



“I’ve always believed in savoring the moments. In the end, they are the only things we’ll have.” -Anna Godbersen

xo, Jackie

The title of this post is from the song, “A Day In The Life” by The Beatles.
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May 14, 2013 · 8:00 am

There’s So Many Beautiful Reasons I Have To Be Happy.

Day 14: Ten things that make you really happy

Long car rides, alone, with music blasting. With work and school and living in a small house with 6 people, I rarely get time to myself. But, being that I am always on the go, I’ve found that the alone time I get is in my car. I rather enjoy my “me” time in the car, driving, listening to my iPod on shuffle. It’s peaceful.

NYC and other cute city-like towns. I love the city. SO much. And I love other city-like towns that are similar to NYC – Hoboken, Ridgewood, Red Bank (all in New Jersey). I just love the idea of the city lights and big buildings, and people roaming the streets all hours of the night. The idea of living in the city excites me beyond words.

The Jersey Shore. As much as I adore the city, I absolutely love where I grew up. I live in the part of New Jersey where I am centrally located and can be in the city, the mountains, the country, or the beach within an hour – although I am the closest to the beach… only 10 minutes away. I love everything about the Jersey Shore – from the beach, to the boardwalk, to the local restaurants and summer activities, to the nightlife. There is so much to love about growing up here and returning home to live after going to college.

Sunshine. Who doesn’t love sunshine? Who isn’t immediately happier on a sunny day?

Reading and writing. I fall in love with fictional characters on a regular basis and hope to one day write novels where my readers fall in love with fictional characters as well. I love getting lost in a book and reading plots that keep you hanging on.

Catching up with an old friend. This doesn’t need an explanation; the feeling of seeing an old friend and catching up is something I’m not quite sure words can describe. I have a lot of friends I don’t see very often – college, grad school and jobs have separated us – and when I do see them, it’s like we were never apart. That feeling that we’re still connected even though we spent so much time away from each other and are able to get right back where we started is one of the best feelings in the world.

Long, deep life talks. When it comes down to it, I don’t take much seriously. Life is too short to get all worked up about the finality of it all. I like keeping things fun and light-hearted. But, I appreciate intellectually stimulating conversations SO much. I crave them. I think there’s so much to say for friends that you can have long, in-depth, life talks with – the friends who help you dissect your place in the world and help you piece together your future. I think conversations that map out your beliefs, your values and what you anticipate the future being is something so rare and so beautiful – it just brings me such joy to be able to do this with some of my friends. A connection beyond just an on-the-surface friendship is something I value greatly.

Coffee dates. This goes hand-in-hand with catching up with an old friends and long life talks. What better way to catch up with an old friend or have a stimulating conversation than over a caramel macchiato from Starbucks?

Autumn. My favorite time of year – from my birthday, to Halloween, to Thanksgiving, to the leaves changing color and the air turning crisp. I just love Fall and everything about it.

My girlfriends. I wholeheartedly believe that I am beyond lucky when it comes to the company that I keep. There are so many girls out there who say, “I hate girls, I only have guy friends.” There are so many people who tell you that you will never be friends with the people you grow up with once you graduate from college. There are so many naysayers in the name of friendship. But, for whatever reason, I have been blessed with an abundance of friendship and love with my girlfriends. I have friends from all walks in life – girls I’ve known since elementary school, some I’ve known since high school and those that I’ve met in college and in grad school. I have a couple of friends I speak to every day, a friend I see nearly every day and those I speak to sporadically. I love each and every one of them and am grateful every. single. day that I have them in my life. I shudder to think what my life would be or who I would be if not for the people standing behind me. I have such a great support system in them and out of all the things I have in my life, my friends are my one constant and the one thing I know will always make me happy.


“We’re always thinking that someday we’ll be happy; we’ll get that car or that job or that person in our lives that’ll fix everything. But happiness is a mood, and it’s a condition, not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry, it’s not permanent. It comes and goes, and that’s okay. And I feel like if people thought of it that way, they’d find happiness a lot more often.” -One Tree Hill

xo, Jackie

The title of this post is from the lyrics to the song, “Happy” by Natasha Bedingfield
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May 13, 2013 · 10:20 pm

I’m Sorry For Blaming You.

Day 13: Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be.

Dear teenage me,

I’m sorry that I thought it was okay to wear roll on glitter as eye shadow in my early teen years. I’m sorry that bell bottoms were the trend and even more sorry that I succumbed to the pressure of trends. I owned Adidas sneakers with the three stripes in silver because there were no other acceptable shoes to own. I traded in Limited Too for Aeropostale. I experimented with eye and lip liner and godawful shades of blush. I crimped my hair and wore it in super high, poofy ponytails. I wore clogs and denim mini skirts and platform sandals, platform heels and platform sneakers. (Cringing)

I’m sorry for being so impressionable and for relying on other people for validation. For acceptance.

But what I’m really sorry about is this: I’m sorry for internalizing all the negativity – for believing that I was never good enough. For thinking I would never find a means to be good enough. I’m sorry for listening to the static noise. For trying desperately to be what other people wanted me to be, but falling short. For building walls when I should have walked across bridges. For keeping people that cared the most about me out, but letting the worst people in. For finding a need to rebel. For the act of rebelling. For feeling weak when all I ever was was strong. For crying so much. For never feeling understood. For never sticking up for myself. For tearing myself apart over and over again. I’m sorry I couldn’t find it in me to look past the present moment then and see into the future.

You’re so much better off today. But for all those years prior, I’m sorry.

Love,
Me



“Sometimes, all you need is a simple ‘sorry.’”

xo, Jackie

The title of this post is from the lyrics to the song, “Hurt” by Christina Aguilera
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