“Be honest. Write your truth; no one can take that from you.”
I spent so many years prior hiding behind private blogs that never met the eyes of anyone I knew. I had grown an impressive collection of journals that doubled as paper weights, collecting dust on my book shelves. I had stacks of notebooks with day dreams scribbled inside the pages. I had scraps of papers filled with fragments of stories that I thought would some day make sense.
Some day started in March 2012 – right in the middle of the year that I took off between graduating college and starting graduate school. When I started this blog, my truth was a collection of painfully feeble attempts at trying to properly navigate my way through my early 20s. My truth then was about filling myself with things I thought I needed — things that everyone else dictated for my life. My truth then was that my life was not my own. This blog was a chance for me to finally let everyone in on the inner workings of my heart — the pieces of me that had nothing to do with the jobs that I worked, or the degree I was pursuing, or the logical career that seemed so far away.
ii. Part one ended when I started taking back what’s mine; that’s where part two picks up.
My truth looks a little different four years later.
In the four years since I started this blog, I left a job of ten years — a job that was such an integral piece of me, I graduated with my Master’s in Mental Health Counseling, started working as a Mental Health Counselor, and am now, finally, fully immersing myself into this next big transition in my life.
What I’ve learned in the last four years is that your truth is ever changing. My truth then was about attempting to find myself in the midst of the chaos and calamity that came in the awkward stages between college and graduate school. My truth now is in allowing myself permission to finally grow. It’s in allowing myself to accept all the parts of who I am — the parts that I am claiming as my own — the parts that I will not let anyone else dictate for me.
My truth today is in allowing myself to let go of the preconceived notions I once had for what adulthood looks like. It’s in letting now be my time to grow and progress. It’s in allowing myself to be present. To let others in. To stay when it gets crazy and hectic and chaotic. My truth now is in learning to be okay with stillness. It’s me teaching myself not to run after the next big thing — the next big fill.
So, this is part two of my blog. This is the part where I figure out who I am outside of my early 20s and outside of being a student. This is where I learn to allow myself to stop hiding behind the things that people want me to be. This is the part where I really figure this whole life thing out. This is part two, and I’m so excited to have you here for it.